Yes, you are so right
by Milk of Awesomeness
Summary: Dear Fanfiction letters.
1. Career Shore

Dear FanFiction,

Yes, you are so right. Cato_ is_ in love with Clove and he _is_ in lust with Glimmer and Marvel_ is_ in love with Glimmer and decides to rape Clove in revenge. _Then_ the four of them attempt to murder each other in cold blood despite being allies just because Cato and Clove decide Glimmer and Marvel are psychotic and Glimmer and Marvel think they are sluts. The tributes from District Four _are _unimportant and FanFiction writers_ are_ prohibited from making them part of the pack or even strong.

Sarcastically,

The Career Shore Cast

AKA

Cato "the situation" Ludwig

Clove "JWoww" Fuhrman

Glimmer "Snooki" Rambin

Marvel "Pauly D" Quaid

The "Wimpy and nameless" district four tributes

P.S. We are Careers, the poster children of bloodthirsty, ruthless, arrogant, lunatics. Not Reality TV stars, the poster children for stupid, conceited, lunatics.

* * *

**I mean no offense. I hate Jersey Shore, but I respect JWoww as a person, and respect Snooki as a mother. These stories just remind me of the show. **


	2. Fanfiction Readers like Fanfiction

Dear Fanfiction,

Yes, you are so right. Taking the book and inserting the characters into modern-day high school is a fanfiction, because as we all know, we are using Ms. Collins characters. Overlooking the fact that E.L. James has already proven that these kinds of stories could instead, if you change the names, give you a best-selling series with no connection to the Hunger Games whatsoever, this is such a fantastic idea. No please, take her advice and remove your stories, send them to publishers, and unclog the pages. Or, better idea: Send them to FICTIONPRESS! Not getting any younger here searching through 14 pages of fanfiction to find just that: FANFICTION.

Sincerely,

FANFICTION readers

* * *

**This one might be a tad mean to the 50% of stories like this. No offense to those writers. I've read a few of those. Some are actually canon enough they don't need to do the stuff above. **


	3. The Lame Name Game

Dear FanFiction,

Yes, you are so right. Foxface's name is Finch or actually is Foxface and Peeta's brothers are named Rye and Farl/Pumpernickel/Sourdough/Bannock. Katniss and Peeta named their kids Primrose and Finnick, but they call Primrose Rose, the thing Katniss hates the most. Annie, for some unfathomable reason, names her son Finnick as well, because honoring Cinna, Thresh, Boggs, or their fathers is overrated, because Finnick is sexier than all of them, and therefore the only one we should care about. The girl from Four is named Marina, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Yes, the fact that none of this is true and none of these characters actually have names makes it totally justified that no one can come up with better names and they have to use the same ones over again, despite how irritating it gets.

Sincerely,

Finnick Odair Jr.

Finnick Mellark, the kid no one bothered to consider

Rose Mellark, the poster child for I Hate Katniss Everdeen Fan Club

Sourdough-Pumpernickel Mellark, hated more by parents than Peeta

Rye Mellark, born before parents got dyslexia and started spelling Pita "Peeta"

Cliché "district 5" Emerson

Marina, the supposed wimp "District 4" Macken


	4. Respect is all we want

Dear FanFiction,

Yes, you are so right. KatPee is a good pairing name for us, and not disrespectful at all. Peetniss is so beautiful, and does not sound ridiculous either! And our official pairing name, Peeniss, does not sound like you're calling us dicks, and we love it! We do not feel offended by your indifference to our **very important **feelings.

Wait? Did you just thank us for being supportive? You took that as a compliment? Sorry, forgot. Sarcasm isn't regarded as sarcasm when there isn't a voice to give it a snarky tone to it. Slap to the face, much? You guys didn't actually think we'd like it, did you.

We just want to be respected, as we ARE the main pairing of these fandom. Did you guys forget? Any month that has at least 28 days is Main Fictional Character Canon-Pairing Appreciation Month, therefore, we should have a year round trashing of these atrocious names. Who's with us?

With regards,

Keeta Everlark: Better at pairing names since September 14th, 2008.

P.S. Hayffie, Pornna, Garvel, Fannie, and Fresh want to talk to you about their names too…


	5. Puppy Love? Primmy Love?

Dear FanFiction,

Yes, you are so right. Peeta is in love with me and not my sister, and if for some reason my sister hadn't volunteered for me he would have killed her himself, you know, if you overlook the fact that we live in DISTRICT 12!

Oh, and I _love_ Rory, don't forget that part! Because obviously since our siblings are best friends and Rory and me are the same age, it means we are automatically together. No, just no. WHEN DID THAT BOOK EVER SAY THAT WE ARE IN LOVE!?

Sincerely,

Primrose Everdeen

I am getting married to Buttercup. We are having a joint marriage with Peeta and his bread.


End file.
